This is for all you non geezers out there. You want to identify us correctly....

Opinion








email this print this
Posted on Sat, May. 29, 2004





Codgers, geezers and coots

Whatever the old guys are, we hope they're having a good time fishing

JAMES J. KILPATRICK

Universal Press Syndicate


An inquiry came recently from a gentleman in cyberspace: "What is the difference between a codger, a geezer and a coot?"

Let us consult the authorities.

What is a codger? American Heritage says a codger is "a somewhat eccentric man, esp. an old one." Merriam-Webster says a codger is "an often mildly eccentric and usu. elderly fellow." Oxford adds little: "a person, esp. an old or strange one." New World concurs and adds that "codger" is "a term used in good humor."

What about "geezer"? All the lexicographers agree that a geezer is an old person, odd, eccentric, always male.

Finally, a "coot" is not only a waterfowl of the genus Fulica, it is also "a foolish, eccentric or senile person" (American Heritage); "a harmless simple person" (Merriam-Webster); "a stupid person" (Oxford); "an amusing old fellow" (New World); and "an unconventional or unreasonably stubborn person" (Encarta).

What distinguishes a codger from a geezer? Or vice versa? Let us examine what the terms have in common. We know that codgers, geezers and coots are all "old" males. How old? Patience! Geezerdom begins at 62 if the fellow habitually goes fishing on Saturdays. Codgerdom seldom arrives sooner than 73 years and six months. "Cootdom" is less precise. One cannot be a coot before 67 in Boston, or before 69 in Sarasota and Palm Beach.

Encarta and the Oxford American Dictionary have it wrong in defining a coot as "stupid" or "unreasonably stubborn." Coots are surprisingly well-informed on some matters, especially Republican politics, and only reasonably stubborn.

Is it redundant to speak of an old codger, an old geezer or an old coot? Yes and no.

The three gentlemen are "old." But two species or reduncancies inhabit this universe: malignant and benign. Many Redundancies Malignant are well known. The worst probably is "free gift." Equally irksome are "drowned to death," "past history," and "very unique." There was a time when purists roundly condemned "small hamlet" and "nape of the neck." I have roundly condemned them myself. Geezerdom intrudes.

Scores of redundancies now strike me as benign. An extra syllable may smooth the cadence, an extra word contribute to clarity. Not all know that hamlets are small. Many think of hamlets as melancholy Danes.

Let us go in peace.